From Ehime yesterday, a-nation was launched successfully, thanks to everyone who came down to watch m(_ _)m☆
Seems like this year’s a-nation is receiving both good and bad reviews!
I feel a need to share my opinion on this issue with everyone.
Firstly, the company has been puzzling over the issue of a-nation this year. Shall we host it, or should we not?… If we do host it, how shall we do so. Thus, I totally understand why the company chose to do a-nation in this particular way this year. I know now.
But at first, I was honestly as confused about it as everyone else.
For example, in order to conclude the concert an hour earlier than normal, all artists had their performance slots cut short, so it became very difficult to create a full story or message-based performance in that time constraint. As a performing artist who has been performing every year, so much so that it has become a obligatory custom, I wondered if I should take part… Can I take part?… Can I create something that fits into the normal definition of a 「Hamasaki Ayumi Show」 under these limitations?…… I was really troubled.
In the end, I concluded this.
I just wish to spend this short summer with everyone, enjoying ourselves and exchanging smiles! And then, to do what I can’t do in my own tour, to do something that I can’t do anywhere except during a-nation. So I’ll do “what I can do during a-nation”!!!
That was what I thought.
And that is my answer.
My answer to spend this summer with everyone in TA, enjoying it to the utmost together.
Caption: 2011 Summer
That time when we were free to be ourselves is far gone. And though we can’t live through this time with just innocent smiles.
Let us move on.
Even so, we can continue to move on.
Because we still have hearts that can believe in something.
Surely, as long as it can change into strength that lets us live on tomorrow.
Sent from my iPhone
A
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Misa’s note: Last few paragraphs after the photo quote progress lyrics.
After finishing the mixing for the new songs, I couldn’t fall asleep somehow. Just then, I received a mail from a friend who went to see a-nation at Ehime.
This was the message.
“Well… I can’t really say this well, but I really thought that I will never ever see ayu smile that way on stage again. So when I saw you yesterday, I was really shocked, and when I realized it, I could do nothing but stand there and cry.
To be so at ease on stage as to open up your heart, facing the fans honestly with true innocence, exposing yourself to everyone like that without a second thought. I wondered just how long more you will be able to do that?
Ever since you established yourself as troupe leader, you have been able to push aside your loneliness, unease and pressure, and allow yourself to truly enjoy being on stage. But please think about this: how long more will you be allowed to do so?”
After reading this mail several times over, I watched the video replay of the show.
Wow, she was right… That was truly what I looked like when on stage yesterday… Thinking this, I cried.
Looking at the shining profile of all the members standing on stage with me again, and then at the truly happy faces of everyone in the audience greeting me with a “Welcome back–☆”, and lastly, at the one person who was just one of my dancers in the tour about 10 years ago, Nao the dancer who went on tour with me then, but who is Nao the artist now, standing together on stage with me.
Looking at all of this, I just can’t help but feel happy.
But I am a human, and hence am not perfect. There are times when I make wrong decisions and take wrong steps, and times when I lose my way.
And then, there are also times when I let everyone down.
I won’t give excuses, I’ll accept everyone’s comments thoroughly.
I’ve always paid attention to the feelings of everyone at TA.
And after that, I will reply through my concerts, songs, and performances. Definitely. I hope to continue to do so forever.
Is it alright to grant my one wish?
From now on, whenever anyone has any doubts and unease about my troupe and I, whenever anyone feels like I’ve let go of your hand, please let me know your feelings here on TA.
Because I will definitely read them all.
I wish to discuss about things here, not on Twitter.
I wish to keep Twitter as a place where I can have fun.
To talk about important matters on Twitter, where everything is unrestricted and open to anyone, will just hurt too many people.
When people write things like “It seems like ~”, “I saw ~ on the internet”, “I think ~” or “I heard someone say ~”, it’s not something that they have seen with their own eyes, nor is it truth that they believe in their hearts. It’s just inaccuracies flowing from someone from somewhere, and sometimes, it just leads everyone on.
I don’t mind this. No matter what people say or write about me, I don’t care.
I’ll accept any opinions and criticisms directed at me.
But I don’t want to see the people who are important to me get hurt because of me anymore.
Yesterday, there were tweets about Nao’s voice being “noise” in my show.
Is that supposed to be just an opinion or criticism? Isn’t that just vicious slander and violent words?
To have the one song under his name called “noise”, just what will he feel when he sees that?
Just how vexing and painful will it be for the fans who love and support him to hear that?
Because of the guilt I felt towards him and his fans, because of my worthless-ness at not being able to protect them, I truly felt so vexed and pained, and couldn’t sleep the entire night.
This happened when I announced my feature with JUNO as well, people got angry with him on Twitter, just like they are doing with Nao now.
Just what has he done wrong?
I feel that this has been repeating too much these days.
If this continues, I will feel that I can’t let others come close to me anymore. And then, I will need to keep everything to myself again.
But, isn’t that just too sad?
People whose faces and names you don’t know, attacking you with their words, like knives, piercing deep into you.
This has happened with Masa.
Everyone witnessed it. Everyone knows, right?
I believe in everyone.
I treasure my words, and I believe that since everyone in TA loves me, everyone will treasure their words too.
Doesn’t everyone always tell me how they cry when they see my smiling face?
Don’t I always tell everyone how I feel like crying when I see your smiling faces?
And because we support each other, we have been able to show each other our smiles. Watching yesterday’s video, I truly felt that.
And from now on, I wish for things to remain the same way.
That’s why, I wish for everyone to please understand me.
The only thing I can do is to believe that everyone will understand me.
That’s why I believe. I will believe in you all till the very end.
I retied the bracelet on my wrist, with a much much stronger wish this time.
发表于 31-7-2011 09:19 PM
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