劲爆----雷纳转会申请曝光。。。。“吓到与伤心”

entauong

Mr. Kenneth Dalglish,

Manager – Liverpool Football Club,

Anfield Road, Liverpool, L4 0TH

Sub: Transfer Request

Dear Sir:

Hope this letter finds you in the best of health. I apologize for not turning up for training today since I was suffering from a really bad mood as I mentioned in the text message I sent you.

I would like to bring your attention to a more pressing issue at hand, or at least my hands it seems. The issue about my involvement in what you call the first team of the Liverpool Football Club.

Sir, every since you and Mr. Steve Clark have come on board, I have had a terrible run on the field. When I was young, I was given to understand that football is a game played by a team of 11 versus another similar set. I’m surprised to see that although you’re worshipped by all the supporters, stakeholders, players etc of the club, I do not form a part of the 11. May be you have not noticed, but I really do not get to play football! In the past four months or so, the ball hardly comes to me. Ever since you joined, the total goals scored have only been 14 (as against 27 before you did). This statistic would mean that the defense and the goalkeeper have been stronger but my worry is that most of the work is done by the defenders that you pick and have trained.

During the last regime, every midfielder and defender was looking to pass the ball to me. Then I was supposed to hoof the ball at the striker. These days, even the defenders don’t pass the ball to me. The young guys have so much confidence that they tackle and dribble and pass the ball away to the midfield, or worse, they themselves make a run in to the opposing half. Even in other teams, there is so much focus on goalkeepers, like Tottenham and Arsenal.

Apart from the obvious desire of touching and kicking the football at football stadiums, there are other personal issues as well. My wife called me up in the half time of the Fulham game and was wondering what I was doing in London as if she was suspecting that I had lied that I would be playing with your team in the game. I understand her worries since the ball hardly came to me and my TV appearance was blink-and-you-miss. She promises that she didn’t blink too many times that evening. Even my agent and sponsors are getting worried. They say that I’m not getting too much TV time and it’s hurting my recognition among the fans and thus reducing the brand value. The momentum that you have cultivated in the team is so high that even after the first goal, the action shifted so quickly that I was hardly on TV. So much so, that I had to kick the ball away and make the referee give me a yellow card just to be on camera for a few seconds. It was helpful in preserving my vanity for the night.

Sir, such has been the performances of the rest of the blokes that even young kids like Flano and Robbo get so much TV time. With all due respect to Maxi, he was hardly on the substitutes bench earlier but now he is always on TV and newspapers. His wife made some really wonderful tacos the other day for him while I had to order pizza. He was taking a dig at me on phone. I was so jealous.

I should thank you for atleast mentioning me the other day about the balls I played that created a goal against Birmingham.

There were times when I was called into great saves. The defenders were lacking confidence, the strikers were nearer my post. I had so much company. There were so many attempts on my goal that I had so much TV time. My wife never doubted me. These days I only get to chat with Carra near the post. As scouse as I am now, there is still time before I start understanding what he says. The other day he said something but I could only understand he said ‘chair’ somewhere in between. I think he was suggesting that I should bring a chair along with me.

Given the above circumstances, I would like to submit a formal transfer request. I would now like to play more part in the outfield. You’ve made Dirk and Maxi into such prolific scorers. Jay and Lucas are never shy of taking a attempt. Raul had a super run under you. For God’s sake, even Joe Cole has scored! Please transfer me to the midfield so that I too can play football and can get rid of the above mentioned issues.

Truly,

Jose Manuel Pepe Reina

没有球员大过球会。。。:@

～迷幻旋律～

可信度高嗎？

entauong

哈哈哈。。看好好来。

二打六

没有球员大过球会。。。
entauong 发表于 12-5-2011 02:54 PM

看到内容我笑了。。。
原来佩佩要踢不一样的位子。。。
他当守门员当到闲了。。。

～迷幻旋律～

Please transfer me to the midfield so that I too can play football and can get rid of the above mentioned issues.

原來

entauong

Apart from the obvious desire of touching and kicking the football at football stadiums, there are other personal issues as well. My wife called me up in the half time of the Fulham game and was wondering what I was doing in London as if she was suspecting that I had lied that I would be playing with your team in the game

哈哈哈。。他没什么被拍到。
都是我们狂攻FULHAM。

entauong

哈哈。。多少人会被吓到？

二打六

哈哈。。多少人会被吓到？
entauong 发表于 12-5-2011 03:02 PM

我没有被吓到，看到前面写的东西就知道是假的了。。。

龙之骄子

今天怎么这么多搞笑帖。。。

明明知道相思苦

我嚇到了～明明不是愚人節搞什麼飛機啊！！:@

不過真的很好笑～～～

garf

那里弄来的信？？

entauong

我没有被吓到，看到前面写的东西就知道是假的了。。。
二打六 发表于 12-5-2011 03:07 PM

李海霞。骗不到你。:@

Mr_Sunday

无言。。。 我要求Suarez和Reina换位置。 Reina做striker, Suarez有NEW GOD OF HAND可以当Goallie...

还记得世界杯８强吗？

yizhern

真是吓到!!还好是假的

sad89

我看过有华语版的

kaiwen01

对。。 我也看过华语版。 也是很搞笑的

明明知道相思苦

華語版share來～～～～

依然范特西

2011年，5月11日

致，肯尼达格利什先生

利物浦队主教练


地址：利物浦市安菲尔德路，球场里面奖牌最多的那间办公室

主题：请求转会

亲爱的国王陛下

但愿此信到达您手中的时候，您健康安好

首先，我要为今天缺席了训练而道歉
正如此前我在短信中向您指出的一样，我现在的心情很不好，严重的影响了我的训练
我认为球队中有些事情是您必须加以重视并做出改变的
否则，我将不得不采取进一步的行动
利物浦现在正面临一个巨大的问题
那就是我在主力首发阵容中的作用

陛下，自从您和克拉克来了以后，我在球场上的发挥是极其糟糕的
当我还是个小孩子的时候，我被教育到足球是一项11个人的运动
让我惊讶的是，尽管其他所有人都那么虫拜您，但是您却没有重用我
或许您还没有留意，但是我现在tmd根本踢不上球了啊
自从您上任，已经整整四个月了，我碰球的次数少之又少
看看数据就知道了，这段时间我们的丢球才只有14个
要知道，在您来之前，差不多的时间里，我们可是丢了27个球的
是的，丢球少了在有些时候是可以意味着只是后卫们和我的发挥更好了
但是，我恐怕现在的情况仅仅只是您挑选训练的后卫变强了而已
不关我什么事

在您来之前，我可是球队的组织核心
所有中场后卫都喜欢把球传给我，然后直接由我来把球传给前锋们
而您来了以后，就连后卫们都开始孤立我了
他们不停的拦截把球抢下，而后直接就自信满满的把球一层一层的传递上去
更有甚者，有个叫丹尼尔的家伙还喜欢自己带球上去的
这让我情何以堪啊？！
您大可以去参照一下其他球队，热刺娜娜之流，人家的守门员可都是焦点啊
有我这么行单只影的么？

除了在足球场上踢不到足球以外，您还使得我的个人生活出现了麻烦
对富勒姆的比赛，半场的时候我老婆打电话来骂我了
她说我就是个骗子，她说我根本没去伦敦踢球，问我到底上哪儿去泡妞了
天地良心，那天上半场，转播根本连一个我的镜头都没出现过
她说她盯着电视连眼睛都没眨过，她还问了我的经纪人和赞助商，都说没看见我！
然后，经纪人也打电话来警告我了，说我现在的曝光率太低，赞助商准备削减我的赞助
知道我为什么故意踢走足球主动向裁判申请黄牌么？你都把我逼到什么份上了啊！
不拿那黄牌我根本都没有特写镜头了啊
不拿那黄牌我晚上回家没床睡觉了啊

陛下，冰封三尺非一日之寒
这段时间，就连富二代罗宾逊这些小屁孩得到的电视镜头都比我多了
就连马克西，没有任何不尊重他的意思，可他几个月前确实就是个替补不是
现在呢？电视报纸上天天都是他，铺天盖地的
那一天，我一个人在家，正准备拿起电话叫外卖
他却打电话过来吹嘘他老婆最近对他如何好，给他做了一堆的美食
想死的心我可都有了哦

不过呢，我还是要感谢您
好歹那天对伯明翰的比赛，我助攻了，您还特意表演我了

只不过呢，我毕竟是个守门员啊，扑救抢险才是我的本职工作
想想您来之前，全队上下都是紧密的团结在我的身边啊
就连前锋都得回来帮我守着门柱有木有
对着我的射门是那么的多，电视直播看下来，我老婆从不怀疑我的啊
而现在呢？就只剩下个卡拉格还在后场陪着我聊天
可我根本听不懂他的利物浦口音啊，有木有！！！
只能是不是都傻乎乎的点头啊，有木有！！！
那天他转头对我呼啦呼啦的喊了一大段，可我就只听懂了椅子两个字
我猜，他是叫我去搬两张椅子来好让我们俩坐着聊%&￥*

有鉴于以上种种不堪回首痛不欲生惨绝人寰的待遇以及经历
我想要正式向您申请转会
我想要踢球，真正的踢球
您硬是把马克西库伊特都弄成了进球机器
lucas四比零现在都成了大将之才
tmd，连乔科尔都能进球了
我必须郑重的要求您，把我转会上去踢中场吧
别再让我抱着枕头孤零零的睡沙发了

您最诚挚的

何塞.曼努埃尔.佩佩.雷纳

云如水

回复 18# 依然范特西

jay_loon

like 一个～
hjl最近怎么了？走搞笑路线？