夕夕 丽鹿 糸糸 II - 前一部的延续篇

zhaoqi

原帖由 多麗絲 于 13-3-2008 12:43 AM 发表

哈哈，刚刚跟姐姐说起
[看别人不顺眼，是自己修养不够]
进来就看见你分享的了，所以随意留个言

是这样的，早上和姐姐外出去办事
办公时间要找停车位都不容易
所以，我们也很随意地违反交通乱parking
办事出来后，发现车镜前夹着一张[牛肉干]

姐姐从一上车开始大骂说看不顺眼那个交通警察叔叔
直到回家，还念个不停~

不懂得该如何安慰姐姐，毕竟我俩一起出门
闯祸了，自己多多少少也有责任
但听见姐姐怀恨在心，非常在意那个罚款
就说了这一句：[看别人不顺眼，是自己修养不够]

想一想，我们有错在先啊

多麗絲

不要说我每次转贴的都是一些长篇大论或者晓以大义的罗嗦，这里有个让姐妹省思同时又可以笑笑的文章。





题目："The Man Rules"

At last, a guy has taken the time to write this all down FINALLY, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
   You're a big girl.
   If it's up, put it down.
   We need it up, you need it down.
   You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
   And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
   Let us be clear on this one:
   Subtle hints do not work!
   Strong hints do not work!
   Obvious hints do not work!
   Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
   That's what we do.
   Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
   In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
   Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the *other one*.
1. You can either ask us to do something, OR tell us how you want it done.NOT BOTH.
   If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
   Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
   Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
   We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
   We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
   Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
   But did you know men really don't mind that?
   It's like camping.

多麗絲

Opening to Understanding
Willingness To Feel

There are times when we may find ourselves struggling or even fightingwith our thoughts and emotions. We may feel that something must be donein a certain way or not at all, or there may be some other situationthat feels absolutely black and white. But life is not this way锪t旧 theway we are looking at our experiences that is causing the turmoilwithin us. When we become aware that the struggle we are having is withourselves, we can turn our attention to the source in order to solvethe problem, but we must be being willing to look where we need to andfeel emotions that may make us uncomfortable at first. Then we canchoose to really open ourselves to understanding all the options we canimagine. We are likely to discover that we are resisting somethingbased on a limited understanding, and we must then open ourselves towillingness.

When we are willing to look at all the possibilities, we also becomewilling to accept that there is room for more than we can imagine. Wecan release ourselves from the grip we had on our emotions and stoplimiting ourselves. We may have been unwilling to experience feelingloss, confusion, fear, or even joy for some reason or another, but whenwe realize that our understanding was limited we allow space for theuniverse to move in our lives.

Opening ourselves to willingness may feel like we are surrendering orabandoning all that we believed. But at the same time it is an act ofpower and courage because it is a conscious choice we make about how toapply our personal will. Being willing is to be in a state of willingsomething into creation. It is at once allowing ourselves to be whilealso choosing to direct our energy in a focused way. It is being anddoing from a place of openness, where we can work with the universerather than resist it. It is an open hand rather than one that isclenched into a fist. When we make a step toward willingness, we openourselves to truth, possibility, and the movement of the wise universein and through our lives.

多麗絲

传闻法师:“切勿执着。”

佛教对具有阴阳眼的人及鬼魂来说,会有帮助吗？

吉隆坡鹤鸣寺监院释传闻法师认为,要讨论佛教对具有阴阳眼的人及鬼众是否有所帮助前,必须先同意某些人因为看到他方世界的众生而心生怖畏,这种害怕的心理和煎熬,本身就是一种业报。

“念佛可以增加人的定力,使人不生恐惧心,由此得到一定程度上的解脱。念完佛之后可以回向,让自己修行的功德跟鬼众同享,这是念佛的好处,也是帮助这类具有阴阳眼以及鬼众的好方法。”

马来西亚佛学院院务主们释继兴法师在受访时也指出,佛教鼓励善心人在看到鬼界众生时,鼓起勇气跟它沟通,为它打三归依,让它归依佛、法和僧,并从这三大对象的归依,得到身心平安,开启未来解脱生死乃至成佛之道。 这是等如为它们在痛苦和迷茫之中,打开一条康庄大道。至于佛教对鬼界众生的帮助可以有多深,传闻法师针对本课题开示时表明:“鬼众的业报就是受苦。受苦的时间多了,如何能够记得起佛号？” 就如病重的人,虽然平日能够念佛不起退心,可是在病痛加剧时却只是一心系念着如何才能够最决解除身受的痛苦,早已将念佛之心拋于九宵云外。“这是定力不足,被痛苦所淹没。同样的,鬼界众生亦身受其苦,没有办法知道是如何修行的。”

“就等如地藏经中有写道,受苦的鬼众会寻回它们百千世前的眷属,要求生人设法超渡死人,在佛教,的确也相信拥有血缘之情的人会比较容易感受到它们。对自己比较亲的人,在念佛时也是比较诚意的。”

“这点是不难理解的,因为人生在世,难免会有自私的心理,要帮也是先帮回自己的血亲,因此坠落在鬼界的众生,会回头寻回自己前生或千百世前的亲属,向他们要求帮助,那么它们的要求也比较容易获得满足。”

因此,念佛人念念不断的佛号,可以提醒鬼众往向佛的方向走去。鬼界众生当然也可以凭着念佛的功德而寻求解脱,但是机会比人更微。因为在六道众生之中,鬼道乃属于三恶道之一,化生此界的众生饱受贪念及瞋念煎熬,无法安定身心,拜佛求解脱。

恶鬼善于利用人心
传闻法师语重心长地指出,具有阴阳眼,随时看见鬼众并不可怕,最可怕的却是那种善于利用人心的恶鬼。“无可否认的是,某些鬼道众生确是俱备一些小神通,而有些恶鬼知道人们可以看见它们,所以会不断地在人的耳际重复同样的说话,让对方以为自己有预感的力量。” 而实际上,大部份具有阴阳眼的人也确实会听到鬼众向他们所说的话,而且听起来就像是心底还有另一把声音说话一样。 “碰到这样的情况,最好的对策就是忽略所听到的声音,否则就会跟这股声音的来源相辅相成。因为你喜欢呀,你相信它去执着它,那声音就会越相应了。” 所以人一定要将它当成假象,千万不可以为这是种特异功能,否则后果堪虑。“它会慢慢的让你相信它所说的话,然后让你逐渐地依赖它,最后人类会逐渐地迷失自己,让恶鬼给操纵了,在这个时候它就可以控制人,让人照它的心事来做事。” 所以,只要认识这类灵异事物的前因后果,自然而然地就不会去执着了。最重要的是,具有这类能力者本身不可起贪念,贪恋这种能力,极力消除贪、瞋、痴,就不会沦于如斯的恐惧之中了。

多麗絲

Rejecting Subjectiveness


Subjectiveness means seeing everything from strictly your own perspective. "This is the way it looks to ME." And that's the only way you can look at it. The versatility aspect here is the ability to see things from other people's perspectives. A classic situation of differing perspectives exists in companies that are organized into rigid departments. They often don't communicate well with one another.

Subjectiveness is reflected everyday in statements such as: "Anyone who can't see that we need to do it this way is an idiot!" "I won't accept anything less than a ten percent decrease in this budget." And similar statements that make the point of view expressed the ONLY possible point of view.

This negative trait of subjectiveness is related to the trait of rigidity. In rigidity, the person is unwilling to consider any other point of view. In subjectiveness, the person is unable to do that because he's stuck in his own.

There's a famous old eastern parable that you might have heard about five blind men and an elephant. They were each asked to describe this beast and one said: "It's like a tree," as he held on to the elephant's leg. "No, no, an elephant is much like a piece of cord," said another. The third said: "I think the elephant is most like a python." And so on.

Of course, each one had only a piece of the picture. It's easy to see that if they could share each other's perspective, they'd come up with a whole picture. And that's the advantage of getting past your own subjectiveness. We tend to get stuck in limited and partial views of people or issues. We don't make the effort to "get another camera angle" on the subject and as a result, we make decisions, or have relationships that create problems.

Having only one way of seeing things automatically means having problems with someone who has a different perspective. Those kinds of problems could be avoided when we accept that there's more than one viewpoint on almost every topic under the sun.

But we're back to HOW does one let go of being solely subjective? First of all, it's fine to have your own viewpoint. The task is to make the distinction between viewpoint and reality.

The reality is that the baby spilled the milk on the floor. Your viewpoint may be that this is a mess that you have to clean up. Someone else at the table may think it's quite funny, or quite cute. And the cat thinks it's a wonderful turn of events. You can help your versatility in situations a lot by realizing whenever you have an opinion or reaction, it's only one possibility. Don't confuse your viewpoint with the reality of the facts. It's a liberating feeling to realize that what you thought was reality was simply your point of view and THAT can be changed.

You may say you're willing to see things from other people's perspectives, but "CAN you do it?" is the question. You might try practicing on an issue that you feel strongly about. Abortion. Gun control. Capital punishment. Universal health care. Can you really articulate the argument of someone on the opposite side?

In more mundane matters, when you find yourself in a verbal tug-of-war, try this line: "Now, let me see if I understand your perspective. What you're saying is..." and finish it with an honest attempt at capturing the other person's viewpoint. The more often you're able to change camera angles, to separate facts from strongly held emotions, to articulate the opposite of what you believe, the more you're exercising your versatility muscles.

多麗絲

回复 zhaoqi

呵呵，果真timing有点神准。
很多时候，人们总会犯下这样的错误：错了还大声。

自尊心和情绪作祟，明知道自己理亏还可以气壮。
由你在身边提醒，很好...

cover

"看别人不顺眼，是自己修养不够"

学起来了

----------------------

千篇一律的生活
没有什么好提的

最近一直在想..
接下来要做什么.

mouyanseng

原帖由 多麗絲 于 13-3-2008 12:41 PM 发表
题目："The Man Rules"

太好了，太好了！
这一点也不好笑！
哈哈！

男人的DNA设计结构：
头脑简单
吃饱就睡
睡醒播种

这东西我要了。
男人的心声啊。

多麗絲

我昨天在听一个难过。
那种难过很奇怪的着当事者经历的时候，很悲泣人家没有的谅解；然而，走过了，就变得跟站在前面的人们一样，斩钉截铁地断言别人的经历。
那个难过跟我说：“大家都以为我是因为那个原因，然只有我知道我其实有自己的想法。”
我没有认同也没有否认，我觉得成长是很个人的东西。
我们可以分享，可以告诉他我们的经验，但是我总不能持着保护他而不让他自己走人生的路。
他不自己学习，哪有可能照顾自己？

即便他错了，他也学会错的代价。
这一点，人人平等的。


回复 小弟
我曾经在缓慢的路上焦急地不安，也因为迟迟无法得到自己想要的东西而懊恼不已。
我明白那种茫然和无力感。
我绝对不会说一堆的道理来跟你说那些老掉牙的长篇大论，而只想跟你说：“耐心等候，该你的，就在前面等着。”


回复 无人性
我想，还是沟通的好。
毕竟懒很本事让东西坏掉、酸掉。
侵蚀了可惜。

[ 本帖最后由 多麗絲 于 18-3-2008 09:53 PM 编辑 ]

多麗絲

游泳，是很好的减压方式，又可以减肥。
趁着礼拜天，就给它游个够够。
然后洗洗头，爽爽看Perfect Storm。
没有吹头。
然后，就活该感冒了。

感得很爽那种，背痛胸口挤迫。

好在被老爸取笑同时治疗下，连带吃了班那度之后把烧击退。
酸痛也好很多了。
今天半休。


我，不敢了~   

咖啡豆

突然发觉我没有什么资格讲你
愿早日康复

ktin_268

路過~

這個星期我會很忙。
辯論初賽在星期日早上。

昨天知道24位評審都預備好了的時候，真得很開心

最難熬的就是初賽的準備。
今早7.30到中國小學定教室，定膳食，回到來寫一小段新聞稿，劃地圖，找照片。。

希望這一次的辯論可以很成功。



要好好照顧身體健康

多麗絲

回复 咖啡豆

大家都是同一条船上的人，心照啦！
懂了，就好。
心意，感受到了。
感恩ing~



回复 ktin_268

这么忙也来过路，感激你。
脚好了没？
辩论比赛，我没有兴趣的东西。
不过你开心就好。

用心去做，就是值得开心的事情了，不是么？
生病是为了休息，这个道理似乎我比你懂




回复 公斤世界


那就“沉默是金”吧！（你这么静的人还沉默，这个世界真的可以连针掉地都听得见了...）
高潮过后，就是雨过天青（我说什么了？）
你好好养病，记得戒口！（冰当然不可以吃！）

[ 本帖最后由 多麗絲 于 18-3-2008 08:53 PM 编辑 ]

多麗絲

哇咧！请所有公路驾驶人士，love yourself love the environment，别开玩笑~

咖啡豆

很恐怖的说,好几年前就听过大姐说KL她家附近曾发生过类似手机在邮站里爆炸的事。过后她老是提醒我们添油时别将手机放在口袋里，我涅都是将手机放在车里滴 ~

多麗絲

有时候一些管道也会送来讯息，我们不阻止讯息的流通，然却清醒地分析。
看看这个，给我很多力量的说！！



加油加油加油！！！

多麗絲

写写写写写..............
时机随着时间前进，努力不懈的往前迈步，所有的一切就会按部就班地出现。
不负我生，不负我心。
现在就是时候！

ktin_268

原帖由 多麗絲 于 18-3-2008 08:52 PM 发表
这么忙也来过路，感激你。
脚好了没？
辩论比赛，我没有兴趣的东西。
不过你开心就好。

用心去做，就是值得开心的事情了，不是么？
生病是为了休息，这个道理似乎我比你懂

脚好了
犹豫着要不要参与6月的演出。恐怖的练习时间表。

辩论比赛，我从来没有参与过。
第一次参与筹备的时候，紧张到我不知所措
现在，我也是不知所措，不知道又漏了什么没有做
办文化活动，还真的不简单。。。

对！用心去做，就是最开心的事情了

生病，就应该好好的休息。这句话是对的。

[ 本帖最后由 ktin_268 于 20-3-2008 11:31 PM 编辑 ]

多麗絲

多麗絲

最近在努力研究怎样把谷歌/幽丢的影片下载。
因为那个Prof. Randy Pausch的短片是在有够好的。



Brick walls are there for a reason. They aren't there to keep us out but to let us prove how badly we want things.
                                                                                                               ~ Prof. Randy Pausch