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能不能帮我改一下情书！
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帮死党写的情书，我英文其实很差，但朋友之托实在没有办法
（我朋友是教会的，情书的要义完全是按照他的要求写的，这个我没有什么权力改）
多谢大家
==========================================================
Dear Winnie,
How are you? Did you enjoy Friday in Carrefour? Are you feeling
tired after block teaching? Thanks for keeping quite in Carrefour,
when Tracy brought up the language issue. I cannot imagine you are
such a good girl, so good at empathizing and forgiving others.
For your friends issue, if you was implying that I was jealous (drink
vinegar), it was true. Winnie, you are such lovely creature. I have
to confess: I could not hold from failing into love you. But dear
Winnie, believe me, in my dictionary, love is not demanding you to do a
lot for me, but asking myself what I can do for you.
As a psychologist had ever said, "When a man only wants to go bed or
he does not love the girl that much, he won't feel jealous.
Nevertheless, if he love the girl deeply, jealous is quite inevitable.
The important is not about jealous itself, but how to manage it." I
agree with his judgment and I have noticed you are very enjoying with
your 3 friends. I knew: it was my duty to learn to manage myself. I
hope your won't keep distance from your friends because of me.
Dear Winnie, you have done a lot for me already, please don't trait me
so well, I don't know how to pay you back. Since the first
orientation day, you came and sat beside me, I had been missed in your
big bright eyes. I often ask myself these days, what can I promise to
you?
Winnie, I don't know after 10 years how rich I would be, but at least I
can promise, as long as I will not be able to earn enough money to
hire a house maid, I will be the house maid myself.
Winnie, I don't know after 10 years how rich I would be, but I can
promise I will study hard at school and try to practice how to do
business now.
Winnie, I don't know after 10 years how rich I would be, but my dream
is after 10 to 15 years, I would have enough money to take you around
the world. It is a dream since the first day I met you and I will not
let it just forever be a dream.
Dear Winnie, thanks for talking to me and being so warm to me. I feel
great appreciated. And believe me, in my dictionary, love you, is by
asking myself what I can give to you.
Winnie, I don't have a car here, so I won't be able to drive you
around. And I am still a student, a relatively slow mind student. I
will have to put a lot of efforts on study. I will feel owe you a
lot. But I promise you, if I was accepted as your boy friend, I would
love to call you up every day, regardless how tired how busy I would
be. Listen to your sweet voice, share your grievances and feelings of
the day, help you to relax. I would spend more time to study in
school with you together rather than at home. I would spend more time
in swimming rather than go gym. And I will keep on finding what I can
do better.
Dear Winnie, In Carrefour, I did dare to ask Alle about her boy friend,
but I did not dare to ask if you had a boy friend, since I loved you
and I was afraid of the hurts. You are so pretty, so warm and so good
at forgiving others, I guess you must have.
Dear Winnie, please feel free if you had to reject me. I only want to
bring love, cherishing and carefulness into your life. Of course, it
will be many days before I dare to check your reply and if it were a
rejection, it would be surely very hurting and quite discouraging. I
will need a long time to recover from that.
However, please believe me, when I am writing this letter, I have
already prepared to bare and bury all the hurts myself and there would
be no resentment against you. I would still be your best friend, and
prey for you.
Dear Winnie, please feel free to tell me, if you felt I still need to
improve and put more efforts on courting you. To me, you're worth the
whole world. But please tell me just like last Friday, after pointing
out my fault, picking up my hand and let me know, you still love me
and I still have the chance.
Dear Winnie, I love you! Please God bless me, it will be good news in
your reply! |
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楼主 |
发表于 22-4-2007 09:09 AM
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自己感到一个很大的问题是语法，总是吃不准虚拟将来发生的事情
if did..., would....这个句型用的是否正确 |
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发表于 22-4-2007 09:19 PM
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原帖由 xbadx 于 22-4-2007 09:06 AM 发表
帮死党写的情书，我英文其实很差，但朋友之托实在没有办法
（我朋友是教会的，情书的要义完全是按照他的要求写的，这个我没有什么权力改）
多谢大家
===================================== ...
Dear Winnie,
How are you? Did you enjoy your Friday this week in Carrefour? Did you feel
tired after block teaching? Thanks for keeping quite in Carrefour
when Tracy brought up the language issue. I never know that you are
such a nice girl, so good at empathizing and forgiving others.
For your friends issue, if you were implying that I was jealous (drink
vinegar), it was true. Winnie, you are like the darling bud in the summer.I have
to confess: I could not help but falling in love with you. But dear
Winnie, I believe love is not asking what you can do for me, but asking myself what I
can do for you.
As a psychologist had ever said, "When a man only wants to go bed(??? 英文有这样讲的？用别的字比较好) or
he does not love the girl that much, he won't feel jealous.
Nevertheless, if he love the girl deeply, jealous is inevitable.
The important thing is not jealous itself, but how to manage it." I
agree with his judgement and I have noticed you are really close with
your friends. I knew: it was my duty to learn to manage myself. I
hope your won't keep distance from your friends because of me.
Dear Winnie, you have already done a lot for me, please don't treat me
so well, I don't know how to pay you back. Since the first day of
orientation , you came and sat beside me, I had missed you so much and was fascinated by your
sparkling eyes. I often ask myself these days, what can I promise to
you?
Winnie, I don't know after 10 years how rich I would be, but at least I
can promise, as long as I will not be able to earn enough money to
hire a house maid, I will be the house maid myself.
Winnie, although I don't know how rich I will be after 10 years , but I can
promise you that I will study hard at school and try to practise how to do
business now.
Winnie, although I don't know how rich I will be after 10 years but my dream
is after 10 to 15 years, I will have enough money to travel round
the world with you. It is a dream since the first day I met you and I will not
let it be a dream forever.
Dear Winnie, thanks for talking to me and being so warm to me. I feel
that I was greatly appreciated and believe me, loving you is by
asking myself what I can give to you.
Winnie, I don't have a car here, so I won't be able to drive you
around. And I am still a student, a relatively a slow student. I
will have to put a lot of efforts on study. I will feel as I owe you a
lot. But I promise you, if I was accepted as your boy friend, I would
love to call you up every day, regardless how tired or how busy I would
be. Listen to your sweet voice, share your grievances and your happiness.I will be the one that you can turn to whenever you are sad and I will never let you down. I will spend more time to study in
school with you together rather than at home. I will spend more time
in swimming rather than go for gym. And I will keep on finding what I can
do for you .
Dear Winnie, In Carrefour, I am brave enough to ask Alle about her boy friend,
but I did not dare to ask if you have a boy friend, because I love you so much
and am afraid of the hurts. You are so pretty, so warm and so good
at forgiving others.
Dear Winnie, please feel free if you have to reject me. I only want to
bring joy, secure and love for you. Of course, it
will take many days before I dare to check your reply because I am afraid that it will be a
rejection, it will surely be a melancholy and despondence for me and I
will need a long time to recover from it.
However, please believe me, when I am writing this letter, I have
already prepared to bare and bury all the hurts of myself and there would
be no resentment against you. I would still be your best friend, and
pray for you.
Dear Winnie, please feel free to tell me, if you feel that I still need to
improve and put more efforts on courting you. To me, you're worth the
whole world. But please tell me just like last Friday, after pointing
out my fault, picking up my hand and let me know, you still love me
and I still have the chance.
Dear Winnie, I love you! Please God, it will be good news in
your reply!
有错莫怪．．．．
首先你朋友真是勇气可嘉，但为何不写华文呢？不过还是祝福他． |
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楼主 |
发表于 23-4-2007 05:11 PM
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全文改确实太长了，找觉得最差的一段帮我改一下也好，多谢了 |
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发表于 23-4-2007 07:22 PM
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发表于 25-4-2007 07:47 PM
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发表于 25-4-2007 08:07 PM
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Dear Winnie,
How are you? Did you enjoy Friday in Carrefour? Are you feeling
tired after block teaching? Thanks for keeping quite in Carrefour,
when Tracy brought up the language issue. I cannot imagine you are
such a good girl, so good at empathizing and forgiving others.
(My Winnie, how are you doing? I have missed you since the last
time we met each other.Thanks so much for keeping silence when
Tracy brought up the language issue.It touched my heart so much
at knowing more of your lovely sides.)
For your friends issue, if you was implying that I was jealous (drink
vinegar), it was true. Winnie, you are such lovely creature. I have
to confess: I could not hold from failing into love you. But dear
Winnie, believe me, in my dictionary, love is not demanding you to do a
lot for me, but asking myself what I can do for you.
(honey, I would have to say I love you this much that I can't control
any of my emotions in your presence.You are the only girl I can see
in my world, the most lovely sweetheart I have ever known.All I wish
is to love you more each day and this is all I can hope for since
I met you)
As a psychologist had ever said, "When a man only wants to go bed( sound cheaps!) or
he does not love the girl that much, he won't feel jealous.
Nevertheless, if he love the girl deeply, jealous is quite inevitable.
The important is not about jealous itself, but how to manage it." I
agree with his judgment and I have noticed you are very enjoying with
your 3 friends. I knew: it was my duty to learn to manage myself. I
hope your won't keep distance from your friends because of me.
( As a psychologists once said: " If we love a girl too much, jealousy is
inevitable.But the important thing is to learn how to manage it well.
Winnie, I am so sorry for behaving in such a bad manner but it hurts
me a lot to have seen you being so close with your friends.I want the
the same amount of attention you gave to your friend, but I knew deeply in my
heart I have yet to reach this far in your heart)
Dear Winnie, you have done a lot for me already, please don't trait me
so well, I don't know how to pay you back. Since the first
orientation day, you came and sat beside me, I had been missed in your
big bright eyes. I often ask myself these days, what can I promise to
you?
( Winnie, I guess it is a love at first sight.I fall deeply in love with
you on the very moment I saw you.Do you remember during the orientation day,
you came and sat besides me.It sent a electrical pulse through every cells
of my body, my heart kept racing every minutes, every second.I was so fascinated
by the your bright lovely eyes and since then all I can see in your eyes,
is my love for you.This make me rather sad when you had done so much for me, yet
there is little I can do to show my love for you.)
Winnie, I don't know after 10 years how rich I would be, but at least I
can promise, as long as I will not be able to earn enough money to
hire a house maid, I will be the house maid myself.
( give it a second thought : equal your love to a home maid? that only
lower your yourself in front of a woman.)
Winnie, I don't know after 10 years how rich I would be, but I can
promise I will study hard at school and try to practice how to do
business now.
( Winnie, please don't angry at me for telling you this truth: I have
always want to build a happy family with you together. I worked double hard now,
so I can be success in my chosen field( busineess) and provide
you with the best things of life.I will treat your like a princess and give
you a good, comfortable life)
Winnie, I don't know after 10 years how rich I would be, but my dream
is after 10 to 15 years, I would have enough money to take you around
the world. It is a dream since the first day I met you and I will not
let it just forever be a dream.
( My biggest dream ever was to travel with you around the world and trust
me, I am working hard towards the dream now.Because you are my darling,
all I want for you is to make you smile and be happy.)
Dear Winnie, thanks for talking to me and being so warm to me. I feel
great appreciated. And believe me, in my dictionary, love you, is by
asking myself what I can give to you.
Winnie, I don't have a car here, so I won't be able to drive you
around. And I am still a student, a relatively slow mind student. I
will have to put a lot of efforts on study. I will feel owe you a
lot. But I promise you, if I was accepted as your boy friend, I would
love to call you up every day, regardless how tired how busy I would
be. Listen to your sweet voice, share your grievances and feelings of
the day, help you to relax. I would spend more time to study in
school with you together rather than at home. I would spend more time
in swimming rather than go gym. And I will keep on finding what I can
do better.
( I promise to do my best if you would like me to be your boyfriend...
I am studying so hard now so we can have better future. No matter how
tired I am, I promise to call up you everyday.I want to listen your
sweet beautiful voice, share with you anything , everything, and be with
you when you need a shoulder to lean on. I willdo anything for you,
darling, just because I love you so much and I want you to be happy.)
Dear Winnie, In Carrefour, I did dare to ask Alle about her boy friend,
but I did not dare to ask if you had a boy friend, since I loved you
and I was afraid of the hurts. You are so pretty, so warm and so good
at forgiving others, I guess you must have.
( It hurts me a lot everytime I think about you possibly having a boyfriend.
I am so afraid to find out the truth, because I want you and I want all
your attention and love in my life.So much so that I can't have a peaceful
moment in my every seconds, in your presence.)
Dear Winnie, please feel free if you had to reject me. I only want to
bring love, cherishing and carefulness into your life. Of course, it
will be many days before I dare to check your reply and if it were a
rejection, it would be surely very hurting and quite discouraging. I
will need a long time to recover from that.
However, please believe me, when I am writing this letter, I have
already prepared to bare and bury all the hurts myself and there would
be no resentment against you. I would still be your best friend, and
prey for you.
( Winnie, I don't want our friendship to end her nor I want it to be a
burden for you. I will always be there as long as you want to talk to
someone.I know it will probably break my heart, shatter my world
into thousand unsavable pieces, but my Winnie, you can be honest with me
about your feeling.I am always ready to accept the answer, for I love you and
respect your feeling.)
Dear Winnie, please feel free to tell me, if you felt I still need to
improve and put more efforts on courting you. To me, you're worth the
whole world. But please tell me just like last Friday, after pointing
out my fault, picking up my hand and let me know, you still love me
and I still have the chance.
(Winnie, nothing mean a world to me. Only you did. Please tell me
What can I do to win your love, to win my Winnie back)
Dear Winnie, I love you! Please God bless me, it will be good news in
your reply!
I am so lazy now...so I just stop here.
[ 本帖最后由 玲儿 于 25-4-2007 08:36 PM 编辑 ] |
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